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Slowing Down to Here – How ‘to come’ in the French moment

Slowing down to HereSlowing Down to Here” is a guest post By Ariel and Shya Kane – How do we slow down, and get into the moment of now, to really hear the French in a conversation, and make the right choice of words when we answer. I want to thank Ariel and Shya Kane for graciously accepting to post on my blog! Before you go, watch the video to learn the verb VENIR – to come.

This moment is uniquely finite and yet infinite. What we mean by that is that it is complete exactly as it is and yet this moment leads into the next moment of now. Most of us are so busy chasing an idea of what a better model of ourselves is supposed to be, or an idea of where we should be by now in our lives, that we never slow down enough to get current to the present moment of our life. We are driven to get things over with, finished, completed. There is a discomfort in “being in process” and most of us are avoiding the discomfort of the process of our lives.
What it takes to have a magical life is to BE there in what is happening in your life in this, the current moment of now. Our minds are like machines and their nature or habit of operation is in overdrive, rushing for some future attainment. What it takes to get into the current moment is an intentional slowing down. (Not to be confused with laziness or complacency.) It is an intentional putting the brakes on so that you are actually in real time with what is happening in your experience in this moment of now.

As an example, we were taking a lesson in casting a Spey fly rod. This casting method requires several specific movements that are designed to support this 13 foot rod in casting a line over a long distance. The more force you use to produce the cast, the more difficult the cast becomes. What it takes to produce the perfect cast is watching how your line is moved by the motion of the rod. If you are trying to make the cast, you stop watching the line. But if you are there, a simultaneous adjustment takes place in your body that allows the line to move with effortlessness and grace as it arcs off into the distance.

The challenge is that most people misidentify themselves with their thoughts. They think they ARE their thoughts. Your thoughts are so speedy and far faster than life is showing up in this moment. These thoughts bounce around and the thoughts are a part of a survival mechanism that is constantly sorting by what is necessary for survival.

As you go about your day today why not play a game? Why not treat that internal conversation as a radio station rather than you? If you notice that you are thinking that something in the future is going to be more important than right now then it is an indicator that you listening to the radio station as if what you hear coming through the radio is you.

What if what you are listening to, contemplating or worrying about, is nothing more than a preprogrammed mp3 player on shuffle? Your thoughts are randomly playing what has been downloaded from the past. These thoughts are scripted by your cultural inheritance and limited experience that has been deeply colored by the culture in which you were raised (or your resistance to that socialization process).

When you notice that you are speeding through your life, your day, your moment to get on to what you think is more important than what is right in front of you right now, take a breath. Intentionally bring yourself into your body, into what is happening in front of you right now. Your eyes and your body will be your barometer as to whether or not you are thinking or being. If you are staring off into middle space – you are thinking. If your eyes are actually registering what is in front of you – you are here…maybe…if you are fortunate. This is a process. You will get better as you engage in self observation without self reproach and you start to gain a mastery of objectivity that allows you to escape the mechanical nature of your mind. Being here has its perks.

Since 1987, internationally acclaimed authors, seminar leaders, and business consultants Ariel and Shya Kane have taught individuals, couples and organizations across the globe how to live in the moment and unwire the knee-jerk behaviors that get in the way of living life with ease. From their ground?breaking book Working on Yourself Doesn’t Work to How to Create a Magical Relationship, gold medal winner of the Nautilus Book Award for best book of the year in the category of Relationships /Men & Women’s Issues, to their speaking engagements at the United Nations Society for Enlightenment and Transformation and Alternatives ? the UK’s premier venue for the biggest names in the mind, body, spirit world ? Ariel & Shya continue to reach audiences hungry for the possibility of a life filled with ease, well being and satisfaction. Their acclaimed seminars in New York City, Europe and Costa Rica open up previously unseen possibilities in people’s lives, allowing them to live the life of their dreams. You can learn more about their seminars, Internet radio show Being Here, as well as their Excellence Club online community at: www.TransformationMadeEasy.com.

Vince Lombardi once said that “Real glory is being knocked to your knees and then coming back.” Leave your thought below and check out the video to come back to Paris! (verb VENIR at 6, most important, tenses):

(Learn the pronunciation of all the tenses in Le Génie Verbale)

Now it is your turn!

Tell us in the comments below what is yourway to stay in the moment? How does that help you be more productive? How does it help you savour each strawberry as if it was your first?

Merci beaucoup et à mardi prochain,


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Llyane Stanfield is a Parisian French language coach, and founder of the J’Ouellette® French Method – an organic method using techniques that are employed by the world’s finest linguists. She travels between Toronto, New York and Paris, while teaching French via Skype in more than 15 countries. She is French language coach for busy traveling professionals, and has produced an unprecedented Intensive Program and French Pronunciation Master Class, as well as other visual and teaching materials. She now spends a large portion of her time in Paris, where she also organizes an annual Immersion Retreat. Her unique methods produce a quantum leap in confidence and pronunciation, and a short session with her is the perfect start to brush up your French (whatever your level!) at the start of your Paris trip.

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6 comments to Slowing Down to Here – How ‘to come’ in the French moment

  • I love how their bio says they help to ‘unwire knee-jerk behaviors’ and this post certainly shows that. I think we all to often react to event from the past and are therefore not living in the Now. Very nicely written and excellent insights on being present!
    Christina recently posted..My Dirty Little Secret

    • Llyane

      Yes, Christina, they are so brilliant! I’m so grateful that they shared their wisdom with my audience!
      Thanks for stoping by,

  • Beautiful post! Taking a breath is a great way to bring yourself back to the present moment. I need to do it more often :).
    Leanne Chesser recently posted..The Importance of Self Esteem

    • Llyane

      Hey, Leanne, thanks for this! We should all breathe more, shouldn’t we ;)

  • Ahh. So simple, so wise. Life is in the here and now. It is up to us to enjoy the moment… or let it slip through our fingers.

    Part of the beauty of going somewhere else–such as Paris, France–is that you can consciously choose to be present and enjoy the moment. And I know I’d need to concentrate fully to try to understand what Parisians are telling me. :)
    Marie Overfors recently posted..Want publicity? Don’t forget this!

    • Llyane

      Thanks for stopping by, Marie! Yes, it is saying ‘Yes’ to whatever comes to you and not judge. But Ariel and Shya are saying it so much better – a true honour to have them here!